Several therapists reported that BDSM clients often possess characteristics that contribute positively to the therapeutic process: ‘They seem smarter than the average client, I think…They tend to be articulate, imaginative, creative people.’ (Therapist J)
Lawrence, Anne A., and Jennifer Love-Crowell. “Psychotherapists’ Experience With Clients Who Engage In Consensual Sadomasochism: A Qualitative Study.” Journal Of Sex & Marital Therapy 34.1 (2008): 78. Academic Search Premier. Web. (via fortheluvofdoms)

(via princesshoneycunt)

Source: fortheluvofdoms

kateordie: I intend to do a few different versions of the same sentiment. Look, it’s safe for work! There’s no nudity! This is so much the perfect thing in so many ways to me. My marriage and my relationships are not what I would have expected five, ten, or fifteen years ago. But I’m so damn lucky to have them and I love them so much.
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kateordie:

I intend to do a few different versions of the same sentiment. Look, it’s safe for work! There’s no nudity!

This is so much the perfect thing in so many ways to me.

My marriage and my relationships are not what I would have expected five, ten, or fifteen years ago. But I’m so damn lucky to have them and I love them so much.

It is said that the most common reason for an emergency room visit in New York City on Sunday mornings is a hand laceration from cutting a bagel…I can find essentially no emergency room visits related to S&M injuries in the professional literature. So if danger or injury is your criteria, then cutting a bagel is the sign of a mental disorder, and S&M is healthy.
TheAtlantic.com [article here] (via dorklops)

BDSM PSA

apatientwolf:

Just a reminder, ladies and gentlemen:

  • Submission is something that is given, not something that is taken.
  • Submission is not a permanent state- it is something that you can choose to take away at any time.
  • Safe words mean “No” and “Stop immediately.” They do not mean “Convince me” or “Try to change my mind.”

If you’re a sub and any Dom tries to convince you otherwise: do not trust them and get away from them immediately.

Q:I have a question. How does one go about becoming a Dom? If this is not something you can answer publicly, I will come off anon and ask again. I am curious because, as of late, there has been some bad press about D/S due to a certain work of fiction and thus it has become difficult to sort good advice from poor, especially if you are curious.

Anonymous

Some people believe that you should learn from a more experienced Dom. I understand the logic behind that. But I’m a terrible introvert who did his first delving into BDSM while living in a small town in Utah, so I didn’t really feel like that was much of an option for me. If this sort of apprenticeship normally ends with some sort of investment ceremony where you get a swords or something, I missed out on it.

So, personally, the first step I would send someone on would be research. Sexy, sexy research. There’s a number of good books out there that can give you a intro to the scene and the role- The Loving Dominant was the one I read first, Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns is another popular one. Here’s a list of other book recommendations, though I haven’t read most of them personally, so I can’t speak for them. 

Next? Talk to people. There’s plenty of BDSM blogs on Tumblr to browse and talk to, there’s other sites like Fetlife, too. If you’re in a reasonable sized area, Fetlife can probably also put you into contact with the local scene, so you can go meet people in real life. Make friends. Get to know people, get a sense of them, treat them like people, find out who you can get along with.

Sidenote: At every point in this journey, you need to make sure you’ve got your bullshit meter set to full sensitivity. You’re trying to learn about a new scene, and there’s plenty of people out there who are full of crap, which can be dangerous in this situation. So listen to your instincts, be careful, find people who you feel you can trust to be honest with you.

And once you’ve gotten to know some people in the scene? They’re usually really friendly and willing to hand out advice. If you’re trying to learn, a lot of people are glad to teach. Be polite, be attentive, and you’ll likely find someone willing to answer your questions

Good luck. If there’s anything else I can help with, let me know.

apatientwolf:

Linking to this ask, because even if you don’t agree with his beliefs about specific age ranges, there is still excellent, excellent advice to remind us all to be careful and cautious with what we do. We may refer to what we do as play often enough, but it isn’t a game, and the gentleman offers an excellent reminder that is applicable whether you’re 18 or 38.

Regarding his thoughts that men aren’t ready to be Doms before 30… I don’t know. I know that my understanding of what being a Dom is about is constantly in flux as I learn more. 27 year-old me would not have been prepared for some of the situations I’ve faced in the past year. I don’t know if 30 year-old me would have. Some days, I’m not entirely positive that I’m facing them correctly right now.

But as you get older, you learn. There’s no shame or fault in taking your time to be careful and face each situation with the best information you can. It’s smart.

Anybody want to get into a sexy text-based roleplay?

toasterfrakker:

I’ll be your plaything… 

Themes will include heavy, erotic BDSM related material as well as some science fiction influences.

Just drop me a message in my askbox if you’re interested…

Signal boost, because the lady in question is awesome, and perhaps one of you out there might be interested…